I’m no one’s second choice!

**All names have been changed to protect identity**

Quite some time ago while I was actively searching for love on Match.com, I received a really amazing email from an Indian man named Sayeed.  It was a little longer than I like my icebreakers to be, but he was so well written, talked about a lot of the things I had mentioned on my profile and said just enough about himself to really intrigue me.  I checked out his profile and he seemed pretty interesting, but when it came down to his photos, I just couldn’t tell if I’d be physically attracted to him or not.

After a bit of thought, I decided I’d wait a few days to respond because I already had a date planned for the following evening with a Bavarian man, named Aldric.  I wanted to see what would come of our first date before initiating anything with Sayeed.

The day of,  Aldric suggested that we meet at a place called Green Street Cafe in Coconut Grove, and even though I didn’t really like the venue due to it’s pretentiousness and yuppie customer-base I agreed.  You can’t say I’m not a good sport!

Being the only Cuban in Miami not running on Cuban Time, I arrived early and sat at a table on the outside and ordered a drink while I waited for Aldric to arrive.  As I sat there I couldn’t help but notice a man standing at the bar in front of me.  He had a deep tan, gorgeous long wavy hair and was dressed up in a sexy suite.  For a while I could only see part of his face, but when he turned around I nearly choked on my drink !  It was Sayeed, and he was beautiful!!!

Now, the longer I waited the more I worried about Sayeed recognizing me and totally ruining my date with Aldric, but after a little while I realized what was really going on here.  He wasn’t going to notice me at all!   He was acting very nervous and kept looking around.  He brushed his hair with his hands repeatedly and kept looking at his phone….Yup!  He was there waiting for a date as well!

Sayeed’s date arrived a little before Aldric did so of course I had to scope her out.  She too was from India and was incredibly beautiful. I couldn’t hate!  They actually made a really cute couple.

Aldric eventually arrived and we had our date.  He was really sweet and it went well enough for me to agree to a second date, but now my eyes were setting on Sayeed as well.  I had to meet him!  I had to see what he was all about!

The next day I decided to respond to Sayeed’s email without making any mention of Green Street .  We went back and forth for a while and eventually moved on to the phone. We hit it off and in time, decided to meet each other in person.  On this date, however, I called the shots on the location and decided we’d meet at Transit Lounge.  For those of you not familiar with Transit (which is now closed) it was the coolest dive bar/live music venue in Miami.

Once again, I was the first one there, but this time I did not run into any other Match.com-ers.  At one point in the night, I did bring up the Green Street story and we had a great laugh.  Turns out that was his first date through Match.com and he was beyond nervous.   In the end, Sayeed and I  hit it off quite well and before getting into my car, I agreed to see him again.

A few days passed and we continued to chat, but no solid plans were made for the second date.  , Sayeed finally sent me a message saying that he had decided to take the other girl seriously and could no longer see me, but wanted to remain friends.  Of course, that was fine by me.  If it’s not meant to be, I am not one to force it!

However, two weeks later, Sayeed reached out to me again.  Turns out that after he decided to get serious about the other girl, she decided to get serious with someone she had met before him!  He now wanted to see if I’d like to go on our second date!  Hahahhaa!  As if I’d totally allow myself to be someone’s second choice!  My response was “Thanks, but no thanks. ”

And then I called up Aldric.

Label Whores

WARNING:  It’s not a personal attack on anyone in particular and really doesn’t have anything to do with people who make lots of money!

Obsessing over labels has never been much of an issue for me.  I could only assume it’s because I was not raised in a particularly well off family, but for that I am grateful.  I’ve learned to be able to tell the difference between a want and a need, even though I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard.  But in the end I’ve always managed to get by making the right decisions.

Now, for the people a little more financially fortunate I can see where it’s totally normal for them to spend $300+ on a purse or on a pair of shoes (even though it makes little sense to me). Money spent is relative to the money that’s made, but what blows my mind are those that are struggling on a daily basis going above and beyond to be able to say they own a “Louis” or whatever other Foo Foo name is hot at the moment.  I’m not here to bash the labels themselves, because after all, it’s nice stuff…The clouded judgement some people have in regards to these labels thanks to our materialistic society is what I’m going after.

At the end of the day, is it really necessary to spend the majority or sometimes all of your money on something such as a purse?  A purse is something that’s meant for you to store your belongings in, and of course, your money.  But what is the point of having a purse if you have no money to store in it?  I personally used to work with someone who would complain every day about how she didn’t have enough money to buy diapers and food for her baby, and how she couldn’t afford anything more than what was on the dollar menu for lunch, yet every week she’d come in with a new fancy bag and super expensive shoes.  The worst part is that she’d brag about her new items and how much they cost.

REALLY?!!?!?!  You’re going to let your child starve and walk around in dirty diapers, but go and buy this crap that you don’t even need just to feel some sort of social validation?!?!  I don’t know if to be disgusted with society for making her think this way or just with her for being so weak!

What brand shoes, purse, jewelry, and/or clothes you wear does not define you.  You are no more and no less the person who you are inside with or without these material things.  How can some people think that in order to be cool they have to spend and exuberant amount of money on items that are nothing but a want?  The cutest part about it is that they could find these items for a fraction of the cost if they were just a little patient and shopped the right way (Outlets, Ebay and Craigslist are a girl’s best friend!).

I’m not trying to say that anyone is stupid for falling into the label trend, but I am saying that at the end of the day, you’re spending way more than what you really need to be spending on things that don’t really matter.  Instead of spending $500 on a purse, spend $85 and actually start a savings account with the difference. What about setting that money aside for your children or future children?  How about taking a little weekend getaway? Memories with those you love last way longer than any material thing.

We all have our opinions…It’s what makes the world go round, and this is mine.

That’s my rant of the day…I’m out!

-Emily