Hoops is no slam dunk

I originally wrote this review on Yelp and gave them one star:

I wanted to like Hoops soooooo bad, but it just didn’t happen!

I went to Hoops for the first time with a few of my coworkers last Thursday to have some food and drinks before the Heat game.  My first impression of this sports bar/restaurant on a decor standpoint was fantastic.  On just this alone the potential was magnificent, but then I ordered a drink.  I asked the Server for a Patron Margarita with sugar on the rim instead of salt, but when my drink came and I placed my poor lips against that glass for a sip, my mouth was invaded by an army of disgusting red salt that almost knocked me off of my chair.

I didn’t get upset because I understand that mistakes can happen, but did inform the Server of the error.  She was very apologetic and told me “Don’t worry, I’ll have them remake it.”  I thought that was nice and eagerly awaited my replacement drink, but little did I know that it was going to come back worse than before.  Not only was there still salt on the rim the second time, but they didn’t remake  my drink!  They just poured it into the new glass, transferring the red salt with the drink mixture, turning my once yellow margarita into a pink salty nightmare.

Again, I kept my cool and smiled as I asked the Server to please have my drink redone and to just forget about the sugar all together.  Again she was very apologetic and actually brought it back right on the THIRD try.

My story doesn’t end here though. I actually ordered food; or at least I attempted to.  I asked the Server for a burger with just cheese, bacon and lettuce.  I specifically told her I didn’t want onion, tomato or pickles on there, but figured if it made it onto my burger I would just pull that stuff off myself; No biggie right?

Well, when my burger came it did not have bacon and the cheese was melted OVER the onions and tomatoes so I could not pull them off without loosing all of my glorious cheese.  Once again I let the server know, and once again she was apologetic and took it back to the kitchen. Ten minutes later she comes back with my burger.  At this point I’m so damn hungry I didn’t really look carefully before I cut it in half and was about to put it in my mouth.  But right before I bit into it, I noticed that it did not have cheese, and that’s when I had finally had it!

How is it possible for an establishment to screw up my order so many times?!  There were errors on the bartender’s side, the kitchen’s side and mostly at fault here was the server for not double checking my stuff before bringing it out to me!

I ended up sending my food back and telling her to take it off of my bill.  My coworker shared her turkey club with me, which thanks to her and her alone is the only reason why I didn’t starve that night.

I really don’t think I will be returning to Hoops, which is a big shame because it had so much potential.  The only reason why I’m OK with giving this place one star is because it really was a beautiful venue.  Like I said before, I really wanted to like this place, but they failed me miserably.

And the Twilight fans are barking…

My intern, Marjorie, is the drummer in a band called Brand Name Punk. A little over a week ago she posted up their latest music video on YouTube and started sharing it with the world on Facebook. Of course, like any other unsigned band, their goal was to somehow go viral and get as much attention as possible. Well, let me tell you, I think they nailed it!

The song is titled “Hopes and Dreams” and it’s about a guy who is so obsessed with Kristen Stewart he manages to kidnap her and in his own little fantasy world believe she’s in love with him too. In the video they act this all out with a life size cardboard cutout of said actress. The band member with the obsession ends up spending way too much time with her and his bandmates decide it’s time for the affair to end. They kidnap “Kristen” again and destroy the cutout for the sake of the band’s survival. It’s silly. It’s cute. It’s HARMLESS!!!!

Well, I’ve seen their total view count go from 300 to over 18,000 in three days and let me tell you that it’s causing quite a stir from Kristen Stewart fans! Most seem to be taking this video quite seriously and believe they actually want to kill the girl! The nasty comments are numerous! Here are a few:

“It’s amazing what people do to get views and publicity. This disgusting thing should get banned and censored. Trying to steal fame out of our Kristen, and hurting her image in that form… so shameless, so repulsive.”

“Everyone who is a true fan of Kristen would NOT think this was funny. It doesn’t matter what they were actually trying to say with this video, they fucking BURNED a cardboard cutout of her. This is like porn for her haters. And if you think you’re a Rob fan and like this video, think again, because he’d lose his shit if he ever saw his girlfriend being disrespected this way. Fucking insensitive assholes. I’m flagging the shit out of this until it’s taken down.”

“horrible. way to promote killing an actress who already has too big a share of haters just itching at the bit for some inspiration to take it further than expressing their 1st amendment rights. fuck you!”

Bottom line, it probably IS illegal to use her image in the video without her consent. I honestly can’t say for sure, because I don’t know those laws, but come on! Seriously people?!?! These Twilight fans are way too much. You should see some of the comments that were left in Spanish!

Take a look at the video for yourself and let me know what you think!

Realize what you have before it’s gone…

Last night I was requested to Bartend at a private party.  This particular event was a very elaborate Housewarming party for a really nice family that was very excited to be settled into their new home (which was HUGE), and of course, share it with their friends and family.  They invited loads of guests, had tons of food and alcohol, a DJ, servers, valet,  you name it.

The party started fairly early and by midnight it was still going hard.  Belly dancers were about to come out and put on a show when the unfortunate happened; The host’s mother passes out and experiences a stroke.  Immediately they got on the phone with 911/Rescue and did all they could to keep her alive until the medics arrived, and even then they had to pump her chest and do God knows what to try to make sure she was getting enough oxygen.

Long story short; Grandma is gone.

I was the last of the help to leave.  I had to wait for the host and the rest of the guests to leave so that I could go back into the yard to gather up my equipment.  There I had a talk with the host’s daughter, who is my age.  She is a sweet woman, and was mourning, of course.  And as she vented she said a lot of things that I too felt when my grandfather had passed away: “All the times she called me and I didn’t pick up because I was too busy.  All the times she invited me over and I didn’t go.  And now she’s gone and there’s nothing I can do to fix that.”

My grandfather, Abuelo Rey, passed away about four years ago.  I still cannot see a picture of him or even talk about him without tearing up or just all-out balling.  Even now, writing this, I can’t help but cry.  His death is one that I accepted when it happened.  He was sick and regressed fairly quickly in last two years of his life, so I knew that when it was his time it was his time.  It was for the better and I accepted that.  But what I did not accept or forgive myself for was the fact that I had barely been around for those last two years of his life.

I honestly used to blame it on the boyfriend that I had at the time.  Though I loved him very much, he was a very selfish person so we only ever did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to and how.  We spent a lot of time with his family, but barely any with mine.  I made countless plans to go see my Abuelo and Abuela, but at the last minute he never wanted to go so I’d give them another excuse as to why I wasn’t going over to see them.

I do realize now that my partner was in no way the blame of my absence.  Though these actions did contribute to his selfishness, the ultimate decision to go or not go was mine.  I didn’t have to rely on anyone but myself to go spend time with my family.  If he didn’t want to come with me, well that should have been his loss and his loss alone.  Instead, I allowed it to be mine as well.

And though I feel in my heart that this doesn’t matter, because while he was in his coma in the hospital, not responding to ANYONE, he responded to ME.  Once his eyes closed, he never opened them again, but when I went to see him, I sat down on the bed next to him and I held his hand.  I held his big, almost lifeless hands and I leaned over and softly spoke into his ear.  I told him that it was me, and that I was sorry for not having come over all the times I said I would and that I knew I was a horrible granddaughter, but I loved him very very much.  And as I spoke I felt his hand starting to tighten up, tighter and tighter.  Once I gave him a kiss on his cheek he gave me one last tight squeeze and then that was it.  He passed away a few day later without having responded to anyone else.

Because of that, part of me feels forgiven, but it still weighs heavy in my heart no matter what.  I still remember everything about my last visit to his house and I remember his voice as clear as day.  I miss him so much, and I really wish he were still around.  But alas, thinking like that will never make a difference so what’s the point?

I guess what I’m just trying to get at here is that you should never take anyone for granted.  Age doesn’t matter; I’m not only talking about the elderly.  You never know if today could be yours or anyone else’  last day, no mater what age.  I’ve also lost young friends to very unfortunate circumstances, but their stories would require a whole entry of their own.

Just, don’t ever put off for tomorrow what you could do today.  Always follow through when you tell someone you’re going to see them or spend time with them.  And never be afraid to tell someone you love them when you know you do.  You never know when it will be your last chance to do so, and once that chance is gone, there is no getting it back.  In life and death there are no do-overs.

I’m no one’s second choice!

**All names have been changed to protect identity**

Quite some time ago while I was actively searching for love on Match.com, I received a really amazing email from an Indian man named Sayeed.  It was a little longer than I like my icebreakers to be, but he was so well written, talked about a lot of the things I had mentioned on my profile and said just enough about himself to really intrigue me.  I checked out his profile and he seemed pretty interesting, but when it came down to his photos, I just couldn’t tell if I’d be physically attracted to him or not.

After a bit of thought, I decided I’d wait a few days to respond because I already had a date planned for the following evening with a Bavarian man, named Aldric.  I wanted to see what would come of our first date before initiating anything with Sayeed.

The day of,  Aldric suggested that we meet at a place called Green Street Cafe in Coconut Grove, and even though I didn’t really like the venue due to it’s pretentiousness and yuppie customer-base I agreed.  You can’t say I’m not a good sport!

Being the only Cuban in Miami not running on Cuban Time, I arrived early and sat at a table on the outside and ordered a drink while I waited for Aldric to arrive.  As I sat there I couldn’t help but notice a man standing at the bar in front of me.  He had a deep tan, gorgeous long wavy hair and was dressed up in a sexy suite.  For a while I could only see part of his face, but when he turned around I nearly choked on my drink !  It was Sayeed, and he was beautiful!!!

Now, the longer I waited the more I worried about Sayeed recognizing me and totally ruining my date with Aldric, but after a little while I realized what was really going on here.  He wasn’t going to notice me at all!   He was acting very nervous and kept looking around.  He brushed his hair with his hands repeatedly and kept looking at his phone….Yup!  He was there waiting for a date as well!

Sayeed’s date arrived a little before Aldric did so of course I had to scope her out.  She too was from India and was incredibly beautiful. I couldn’t hate!  They actually made a really cute couple.

Aldric eventually arrived and we had our date.  He was really sweet and it went well enough for me to agree to a second date, but now my eyes were setting on Sayeed as well.  I had to meet him!  I had to see what he was all about!

The next day I decided to respond to Sayeed’s email without making any mention of Green Street .  We went back and forth for a while and eventually moved on to the phone. We hit it off and in time, decided to meet each other in person.  On this date, however, I called the shots on the location and decided we’d meet at Transit Lounge.  For those of you not familiar with Transit (which is now closed) it was the coolest dive bar/live music venue in Miami.

Once again, I was the first one there, but this time I did not run into any other Match.com-ers.  At one point in the night, I did bring up the Green Street story and we had a great laugh.  Turns out that was his first date through Match.com and he was beyond nervous.   In the end, Sayeed and I  hit it off quite well and before getting into my car, I agreed to see him again.

A few days passed and we continued to chat, but no solid plans were made for the second date.  , Sayeed finally sent me a message saying that he had decided to take the other girl seriously and could no longer see me, but wanted to remain friends.  Of course, that was fine by me.  If it’s not meant to be, I am not one to force it!

However, two weeks later, Sayeed reached out to me again.  Turns out that after he decided to get serious about the other girl, she decided to get serious with someone she had met before him!  He now wanted to see if I’d like to go on our second date!  Hahahhaa!  As if I’d totally allow myself to be someone’s second choice!  My response was “Thanks, but no thanks. ”

And then I called up Aldric.

How I Became an Online Dating Addict

This week, instead of giving you the 101′s and ABC’s of online dating, I’d like to take a different approach and share my story with you; The reason behind why I became so enthralled with it all and why it works for me.  And in order to do so, I must start from the beginning:

As a senior in high school I was quite the character, to say the least.  I was an Honor Roll student, 1^st Lieutenant in the JROTC, crazy about live Punk and Ska shows and addicted to the internet.  I don’t quite recall how I came across my first online dating site, but I do remember what it was called; “Face The Jury.”

On this site you would post photos of yourself with a short bio and other members would judge you on a scale of 1-10.  Personally, my score always ranged between an 8 and 8.4 (pats self on back).  I don’t believe that FTJ was ever a traditional online dating site, but it is indeed how I met my first internet crush.  Obviously, I don’t really need to go into much detail to say that we did not quite work out, but we are still very close friends to this day and I do not regret one second of it.

Shortly after that experience I was introduced to Myspace (another non-traditional online dating site) and little by little I started making new virtual friends and meeting them in person.  I dated a few of them, again nothing really worked out in the long run, but my experience there was just a warm up for what was in store for me in the future.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I really started to get hooked.  Up until then, I saw online dating as a reliable source, but by no means was it my priority since I would go out several times a week and party like a mad woman.  I would meet men in person everywhere I’d go thanks to my “life of the party” attitude and being an extreme extrovert.  But this all would soon change.

I’ve always been the type of person who’d jump around from industry to industry, earning me a very diverse resume, but in 2009 my career change went from one extreme to another.  I went from being a Trusted Agent with Homeland Security to becoming a Bartender.

Bartending was something I had always been interested in and as soon as I became certified I landed an excellent job at an Irish Pub.  I worked Thursday – Monday nights and only had Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.  Of course all of my friends had normal jobs and stayed in on my nights off and I refused to date any customers, so my chances of meeting men in person went down-hill.

What was a girl to do??  Well, this girl jumped back onto the Online Dating Wagon and joined Match.com (for the third time, but this time I went in for the kill)!  As soon as I joined my inbox was full of emails from men complimenting me, asking me out on dates and some even borderline professing their love for me.  Of course, I milked this to the extreme.  I was getting to know men from all walks of life and from all over the world; Cuba, Venezuela, Italy, Bavaria,  Austria, India, and much, much more.

I immediately started going on dates on my days off or before my shifts started on the weekends.  On a slow week I’d go on two dates, but my average was four to five dates a week, all with different men.

Now, I know some of you must be thinking “What a little slut.”  Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that would be far from the case.  Sure I was talking to and dating multiple men at once, but most of them did not make it past that first date, and even less made it past a second.

So, with such little success, why did I continue to date this way?  Well, I saw it as a game of numbers.  If you go on enough dates, you’re bound to meet at least one man that could shine and stand out amongst the others; Aside from the fact that it was just all around fun and exciting.

Mass online dating also helped me figure out exactly what kind of man/qualities I’m looking for.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those girls who walks around with an unrealistic checklist entitled, “The Perfect Man”.  There is no such thing as perfect, but dating at high volumes did help me narrow it down to the most important traits in a short amount of time and help me realize that I should never settle for anything less than what I know I deserve.  And I’d much rather be single and happy than to be in a relationship with someone I know is not 100% meant for me.

Once again I find myself single and with a complicated schedule.  This time I am able to meet men on the random if I wanted to since I have weekends off.  However, I have now become really stand-offish when it comes to meeting men at bars and other public places. I honestly do prefer the method of reading a profile and getting an insight on them before engaging in conversation.

It’s like skipping through the B.S. of first impressions.  Your first impression for me is what you have to say for yourself to the world; a general insight on you.  Not what you think I might want to hear according to where you meet me, what I’m wearing and/or what I’m drinking.

online dating is what I’m most comfortable with, and has yielded the best results for me.  It’s something I enjoy and don’t plan on quitting any time soon…Unless I meet my Prince Charming, of course!  Until then, I’m hooked and it can only be to your benefit!

This entry was originally posted by me at Singles Warehouse

Dear Mr. Seductive

A  friend of mine recently introduced me to a website called iSeduceWomen.com.  Now, when she first told me the site’s name I thought “What the in the…” and of course I had to go check it out for myself.  The site is just one page, very clean and very simple. It describes itself as being “For the man who digs women. From a woman who digs women.”

Not yet intrigued?  It continues to read “Seduction is not about sex.  Seduction is not simply a carnal venture.  It’s about appreciating, celebrating, and reveling in a woman on every level and in every way.”

So of course I signed up for the mailing list and since then have been receiving daily messages from a  Mr. Craven Moore with advice on none other than the art of seducing women.  And I must admit, every day I grow more and more intrigued with this said Craven Moore.

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Be patient.

Seduction isn’t about sex.  It’s about pleasure.

Pleasure in sexual tension.  Pleasure in stalking your prey.  Pleasure in waiting patiently for the kill.

Take your time.  Point out how much you love the building tension.  Move in close, but let her come to you.”

What?!?!  This is so sexy!!!!

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Gauge her naughty level.
If she’s proper, don’t be insulting.  If she’s a freak, be REALLY freaky.

Dare to be different.
Have tricks up your sleeve.

Do something to her that NO ONE has ever done before.
She’ll tell your friends (and hers) about it.

How far are you willing to go to be a legend?”

I for one will not be using this information to try to seduce women because I am a man-lover to a fault.  But I can most definitely say that I love this idea and I think every man should be reading these little bits of advice.  I don’t necessarily agree with all of them, but they are, for the most part, pretty on point.

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Make sure she knows how hot she is.

Infuse her with confidence.  The more attractive she feels, the more she’ll want to take her clothes off.”

Need I say more?  I think not! Spread the knowledge ladies.  Let’s get these men back on track!

You’re welcome!
-Emily Sixx 😉

Online Dating 101: Safety First!

The arguments against online dating are numerous, to say the least, but the most common one I hear about has to do with a woman’s safety.  And as much as I’d like to say otherwise, unfortunately that’s an argument that will not be going away any time soon thanks to our fear-driven media and society.

Could it be that the thirty year old Chiropractor you’ve been chatting with for the past month might actually be a fifty-seven year old ex-convict with a taste for blood?  Anything is possible! But I believe it is much more likely to look out the window right now and find John Cusack holding up a Boombox playing “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.

Did you look?? No Cusack Boombox serenade? I thought so!

Now, I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind and not take any precautions when meeting someone in person for the first time.  You most definitely need to be careful and I would like to share a few tips with you in order to make your first physical encounter a safe one.

Tip #1: Make sure you have a recent photo

Before even agreeing to meeting anyone in person, you need to be positive that they are who they claim to be on a physical level.  Make sure to have them send you a photo through their phone doing something you’ve requested, like making them stand in a particular pose or holding up a piece of paper with your name on it.  If they claim the camera on their phone doesn’t work suggest they web cam with you. If they cannot do either, I would suggest not moving forward with the date.

Tip #2: Meet in a public place

Always make sure that your first date with anyone you meet online is in a public place; mall, bar, restaurant, etc.  Whichever one you do, make sure it’s somewhere relatively busy where there will be a lot of eyes.  No matter how cool a person may seem via email or over the phone, do not ever go to their house or one of their friends’ parties or anything of the sort before you really know who they are.  Though some men may be great actors, for the most part your gut instinct and the chemistry you may or may not share with that person will be able to guide you in deciding whether or not that can happen on a future date.

Tip #3: Cover your steps and have a back-up plan

Never go off on a first date of the online kind without letting someone know where you will be.  Advise someone of the exact location, time, the name of the person you’re meeting, and if possible send that someone a picture of your date.  You can never be too sure and it’s always better to be safe than sorry.  You may also like to consider having a back-up plan. Let this person know that if you text them with the safety word (i.e. “Turtle”) that it is their cue to call you in a panic and demanding you come help them out with something immediately.

Tip #4: Always carry protection

For the ladies with a dirty mind, no, I am not talking about condoms!  Even though that is something you should always carry, you should not be getting down and dirty on your first date!

What I am talking about here is personal protection; Pepper Spray, Pocket Knife, Taser, or whatever is legal in your part of town.  Personally, I’ve always carried pepper spray on me.  It’s on my key chain and ready to rumble if there is ever a need for it.  Granted, in the seven years that I’ve made this part of my attire (and I do replace them frequently for freshness sake), I have never had to use it.  I’ve come close, but it’s never had to be done.

At the end of the day, ladies, we all need to be careful.  Never assume that anyone can be trusted until they have earned your trust.  Following each of these steps will definitely assure your safety, which is key.  Whether or not the date is an overall success is totally up to your chemistry and the powers that be!

This entry was originally posted by me at Singles Warehouse

Label Whores

WARNING:  It’s not a personal attack on anyone in particular and really doesn’t have anything to do with people who make lots of money!

Obsessing over labels has never been much of an issue for me.  I could only assume it’s because I was not raised in a particularly well off family, but for that I am grateful.  I’ve learned to be able to tell the difference between a want and a need, even though I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard.  But in the end I’ve always managed to get by making the right decisions.

Now, for the people a little more financially fortunate I can see where it’s totally normal for them to spend $300+ on a purse or on a pair of shoes (even though it makes little sense to me). Money spent is relative to the money that’s made, but what blows my mind are those that are struggling on a daily basis going above and beyond to be able to say they own a “Louis” or whatever other Foo Foo name is hot at the moment.  I’m not here to bash the labels themselves, because after all, it’s nice stuff…The clouded judgement some people have in regards to these labels thanks to our materialistic society is what I’m going after.

At the end of the day, is it really necessary to spend the majority or sometimes all of your money on something such as a purse?  A purse is something that’s meant for you to store your belongings in, and of course, your money.  But what is the point of having a purse if you have no money to store in it?  I personally used to work with someone who would complain every day about how she didn’t have enough money to buy diapers and food for her baby, and how she couldn’t afford anything more than what was on the dollar menu for lunch, yet every week she’d come in with a new fancy bag and super expensive shoes.  The worst part is that she’d brag about her new items and how much they cost.

REALLY?!!?!?!  You’re going to let your child starve and walk around in dirty diapers, but go and buy this crap that you don’t even need just to feel some sort of social validation?!?!  I don’t know if to be disgusted with society for making her think this way or just with her for being so weak!

What brand shoes, purse, jewelry, and/or clothes you wear does not define you.  You are no more and no less the person who you are inside with or without these material things.  How can some people think that in order to be cool they have to spend and exuberant amount of money on items that are nothing but a want?  The cutest part about it is that they could find these items for a fraction of the cost if they were just a little patient and shopped the right way (Outlets, Ebay and Craigslist are a girl’s best friend!).

I’m not trying to say that anyone is stupid for falling into the label trend, but I am saying that at the end of the day, you’re spending way more than what you really need to be spending on things that don’t really matter.  Instead of spending $500 on a purse, spend $85 and actually start a savings account with the difference. What about setting that money aside for your children or future children?  How about taking a little weekend getaway? Memories with those you love last way longer than any material thing.

We all have our opinions…It’s what makes the world go round, and this is mine.

That’s my rant of the day…I’m out!

-Emily

I’m officially a writer for an Online Dating Blog!

After my previous entry (The world of online dating…) was featured on the WordPress Freshly Pressed section my blog has received more views and followers than I could have ever imagined in such a short period of time.

Along with that came  an offer from a very lovely woman named Samantha, who is the content manager for an online dating blog in the UK called SinglesWarehouse.  She asked if I’d be interested in contributing to their blog as a guest writer and I accepted. Shortly after submitting my entry she asked if I’d be interested in writing for them permanently and again, I most definitely accepted.

So now, I’d like to ask you all to please take a moment to read my first article for the Singles Dating blog entitled, Online Dating 101: Should I answer his email? and let me know what you think!

Online Dating 101: Should I answer his Email?

So you finally mustered up the courage to join an online dating site. You’ve uploaded a few photos, filled in your profile, took the ever so tedious free compatibility test, and after just a few minutes of becoming an active member, you notice you have a new message in your inbox. Now what?!

I have been meeting people online, on and off for the past nine years, and throughout all of my experiences, good and bad, I’ve become a pretty good judge of “online character.”

Below I have listed three requirements that will help you in the decision process as to whether or not that email warrants a response. If at any point a man does not meet a certain requirement, it’s best to just move along to the next email and start all over again. And if he doesn’t pass and you still insist on responding, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Requirement #1: Tasteful Username

Their username doesn’t have to be anything out of this world, but if it’s something along the lines of “1HotNight,” chances are that’s all this man is willing to offer. Unless that is what you’re looking for, it would be in your best interest to click on DELETE!

Requirement #2: Decent Subject Line

This too does not have to be extremely complex, but it can most definitely showcase a man’s intentions.
A simple “Nice to meet you” is acceptable, but it doesn’t really show that they have an eagerness to stand out. Ideally you want to focus on the ones that subtly hint that they actually took the time to read your profile; i.e. “I love blogging too!” Now, I’m not saying ignore the ones that only say “Hi,” but consider giving the ones who put in the little extra effort some priority in order of response.

Now if what you find in your inbox is “U like em big Ma?” or “Daaaamn you sexy!” you know off the bat what will be waiting inside. Do not even open that email! You will only be wasting your time and allow your views of online dating to be tainted by a loser!

Requirement #3: An email with substance

Once they have passed requirements 1 and 2 it is safe to read the email, but please consider a few things while doing so: Length, grammar, tone and personalization.

You don’t want an initial email that’s way too short, and you don’t want one that’s excruciatingly long either. You also want to be sure that he can spell correctly and understand the proper placement of punctuation marks. This proves that they are educated and that they pay attention to detail which is a very admirable trait for a man to have.

Analyze their tone in the email. Are they coming off as insecure by saying “I’ve never really done this before..” or “I know I probably don’t have a chance with you, but..,” or are they coming off completely arrogant with something similar to “Write me back if you think you can handle it.” What you want is a happy medium; A man who displays confidence in himself, but is far from arrogant.

And lastly, there has to be at least some level of personalization. There’s nothing more annoying to me than wasting my time reading an email that is generic and has probably been sent out to a thousand other women. That email must include at least one sentence that specifically mentions something that was written on your profile.

Once a man has passed those three key requirements it is safe to respond to their email. At this point, how you choose to do so is completely up to you.

Make sure you don’t respond to anyone in an “interested” manner if you are not actually sure you’d be interested. Inspect their photos and their profile and see if they would be the type of person you’d consider getting to know. If they aren’t, you can at least thank them for reaching out to you, explain they aren’t what you’re looking for and that you wish them the best of luck on their search.

It may suck to receive a rejection email, but I believe it is much worse to be ignored when you know you sent out a perfectly good email.

This entry was originally posted by me at Singles Warehouse

The words of a Conservative man…

As many of you may already know, my last blog entry (The world of Online Dating…) was featured on the WordPress Freshly Pressed two days ago and since then my blog has received a ton of views.  Before diving into anything too complex, I’d like to say that I feel extremely honored and am so grateful for that, as well as for all of the visitors, commenters, new subscribers and friends that came along with it.

Now, somewhere amongst those visitors was a gentleman who happened to read a comment  left by a fellow blogger, Amee Bohrer, where she stated the following:

“Emily, I’ve been doing online dating off and on since college! It worked better for me when I was younger– possibly because that was before most people have really been burned and they were more optimistic and open. What I see now is a lot of guys that are either desperate to get married and have kids, or their profiles are so hateful towards women that it seems they just want to vent rather than actually date!”

Somehow that inspired him (Mr. Conservative, as Amee dubbed him) to write his own blog entry entitled, “People Should Mary Earlier”, where, in a very subtle way he basically explained that by the age of thirty she’s most likely missed her chances of finding a husband and bearing children.  Now, this is just my interpretation of what he said so I will let you judge for yourself:

“I’m told that a woman’s fertility starts to decline around age 27, and that at 35 it’s already down to half what it was at 25 (and half of that at 40).  Whether those are the precise numbers or not, a woman’s fertility certainly declines over time, and with it (think of it in evolutionary terms if you like) her attractiveness to men.”

Reading this really irked me, but nowhere near as bad as when I read the following:

“Women should convert to Christianity and stop sleeping around.  They’re actively working against their own interests and squandering a valuable, but very quickly depreciating, opportunity.”

I was blown away by this.  I am far from Conservative and even further away from devoting myself to any one religion.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not an Atheist by any means.  I do believe in a God, but I am the type to admire all religions at once and not just pick one.  They are all beautiful in their own right and I respect and admire everyone and their religion of choice.

He then continued with:

“If all women refused to fornicate (and if the Supreme Court allowed us to outlaw pornography, by the way), men would suddenly be much, much more interested in marriage. “

Furthermore, I could not hold back and had to leave a comment of my own:

“I can only speak from experience and observation, and I also can’t totally agree that getting married younger will make for a longer happier marriage.

Getting married at ANY age, young or old, to the RIGHT person is what will make one last.

When a person is young, they usually tend to act on impulse in the hopes of living a dream that society has implanted into our minds from the moment we were born. Unfortunately these same impulses don’t always lead us to making right decisions.

Not saying no one should get married young. Some people find their match fairly quickly in life, and hey, that’s great! But for the rest, it’s best to be picky and patient and not dive into an inevitable mess for the sake of bearing children.

If women refused to fornicate and porn was outlawed, sure more men would be willing to get married..but then again, wouldn’t a lot of them just be settling for the sake of having sex? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t that lead to more unhappy and/or totally failed marriages? I also believe removing that stimulation from men can lead to other problems like an increase in rape and possibly child molestation. A lot of creeps need to get their kicks somehow, and if they can’t get it online, they will get it some place else.

And a woman does not need to convert to ANY religion to make her a better person or for hopes of having a successful romantic relationship. She just has to do what is right for her and live her life as she will.

Love is the law, love under will.”

So, I know it’s a lot to read and will probably make most women upset or even uncomfortable, but I ask you to take the time and read Mr. Conservative’s blog entry and share your thoughts.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to opinions and view points, but I’m just curious to see what people (particularly other women) think of this particular view point.

Thanks for reading!
-Emily

P.S.  After the publishing of Mr. Conservative‘s blog entry, she too was inspired to write an entry entitle, ” Publicity! Or: How a Conservative Hater Made My Day!.”  Stop by and check it out.  She is an amazing writer and a new friend 🙂