The world of online dating…

Like most things that were once considered to be taboo, online dating is now old hat.  However, as socially accepted as it now is, there are still a lot of naysayers who love to bash the concept and  try to convince you that it’s still as dangerous and ineffective as it was in the 90’s.

Personally, I’ve been online dating for a few years now…Actually, come to think of it, the first time I ended up dating someone I met online was when I was 17.  Now, at 26, I can say that I’ve definitely learned the ins and outs of online dating and can genuinely see all of the pros and cons, from an experienced point of view.

Argument #1:  You never know if what they are telling you online is true!

This is definitely correct.  There really is no way of knowing if what these people are telling you online is true or not.  But then again, that guy/girl you met at the bar last night could quite possibly be just as creative and insincere as the person you just met online.  It’s a gamble either way!  You just need to be aware of this, stick to your gut instincts and keep track of the things this person tells you.  Over time ask the same questions again and see if you get consistent answers.  Consistency is key!

Argument #2:  A lot of people post fake pictures or really old pictures from when they were younger and better looking!

Again, this can also be true, and thanks to this I’ve learned to NEVER meet a potential  date in person until you’ve managed to get a totally recent photo of them.  You can do this like so: After you’ve shared enough emails and feel like you quite possibly could connect on a deeper level, give them your phone number but tell them to only text you.  After a few texts, ask them what kind of phone they have.  Once you’re assured their phone model has a camera (because some people lie and say their phones don’t have cameras) ask them to take a picture of themselves and send it to you right then and there.  Make it funny though, so that they don’t feel like you’re playing too hard of an investigator.  Ask them to hold 3 fingers up in the photo or to hold a piece of paper up with a funny word on it so you know that it is absolutely recent and shot just for you.  Once you’re assured they are the same person you saw online and that they’re not actually 10yrs older or 100lbs heavier and you still feel that good vibe, then go ahead and give them a call and go from there.  If they in any way avoid taking a recent picture for you, suggest web caming, and if they still can’t follow through DROP THEM!

Argument #3:  How do you know they are seriously looking for a relationship and not just sex?

There’s no way of knowing what is going on in anyone’s head.  This goes for both the people you meet online and the people you meet in person by chance.  One thing I can say from experience is, if what you’re looking for is a relationship, you should probably weed out the lower quality websites.  Most men wont pay a fee on sites such as Match.com or eHarmony if they aren’t seriously seeking a partner.  From personal experience I’ve noticed that people on paid websites have much better quality profiles, where they express themselves and what they are looking for in a much deeper level.  They also tend to be more picky themselves and move a little slower in regards to when they want to meet you in person.  I’ve also noticed that these men tend to be the higher quality dates and are a lot more respectful and even understanding if you later feel that you guys just don’t connect on that level.

Free dating sites such as POF (Plenty of Fish) are a complete free-for-all.  It doesn’t cost anything so anyone can join and not think twice about what the site is actually supposed to be for.  You may occasionally come across a person that is genuinely seeking a serious relationships, but the all around number and quality of emails I’ve received there  all lead me to believe that this site is a little more for the men and women who would much rather have a casual encounter of the sexual kind.

Argument #4: If they found you online who’s to say they wont meet other people online while you’re together?

The chances of these men/women cheating on you are just as high as any other.  Just because you didn’t meet someone online doesn’t mean they don’t know how to use the internet.  All people pose the same threats and we’re all facing the same risks when entering into a new relationship.  Welcome to the world of dating!  It’s life!  Sometimes you find a good one, sometimes you don’t!

**An added benefit for women**

For the most part, we have all been raised thinking that men have to be the initiators in a courtship and have thick enough skin (for the most part) to withstand rejection.  One thing I can honestly say that is a definite bonus to online dating (for both sexes) is that women have become more daring and have been taking on the initiator role as well.  Where a woman would be too embarrassed to approach a man in person or just be extremely terrified of rejection, they feel a lot more safe in doing so online.  Instead of facing public humiliation, at worst they may receive an email saying “Thanks, but I don’t think you’re really my type” or their advance may be ignored. No harm, no foul! No embarrassment and no hurt feelings!

So, to summarize everything stated above, online dating can indeed be risky, but not more or less than meeting someone while out and about or through friends.  It does come with it’s own warning label, but if you play your cards right and keep your wits about you, you will be just fine.  If you’ve been thinking about joining an online dating site and have been afraid, don’t be.  Give it a shot!  You never know who you may meet on there who’s path you may have never crossed in person otherwise.